25.2.04

Where'd who go?

Listening to: Nada initially, but moving to Quantic
Most played: Vice City
 
Right then, back to monthly posting. Good form, glad to see it. Not.

Where did the last month go then? I'm not entirely sure. I might start with now and work backwards until it gets too late for me to want to continue.

Currently I have a sprained knee from Sunday's football match. It's easing now after a couple of days of stiff-legged limping. It's far, far from 100%, but I'm not nearly as sore. A few sessions of physio are planned and I hope that these mean I recover properly and more quickly. My body's important to me, I don't want to bugger it up for ever.


The house is a bit of a mess at the moment. Injured knee provides my notorious procrastination with all the excuse it needs to surface quite viciously. Ah well, serves me right.


As an aside, I notice that interesting blogs aren't written about the blogger but the people and events in the blogger's life. This also appears to be true about columnists - AA Gill, Jeremy Clarkson and, on a slightly different circulation, Belle du Jour are not interesting for what they write about themselves, but for how they write about their views on the world. Ah well, this blog is for me and one day I'll move towards writing something that is interesting for others.


I turned 26 on Monday. It doesn't feel any different and the birthday hasn't shocked me into action. To be honest, I've been using the mental threat that I'm 26 as a stick to beat myself with for months now. In fact, before Christmas, I had taken to describing myself as being 26 anyway. It's weird how people respond to and think about ages really. I figure that as you get nearer to a birthday, you might as well start describing yourself as being that age. It's all arbitrary anyway.


A Vice City addiction has held me for the last 2-3 weeks. J came up to visit and we ended up playing a serious session of Vice City with the "can we complete this in one sitting" mentality. No we couldn't and it depends on what you qualify as "complete". You can finish the story mode and get the "end game credits" fairly quickly - but scoring a 100% complete score is going to take time. I've currently got something like 56% complete. Although I have already got the end credits.

Computer game addiction - indeed addiction generally - affects me dreadfully. I don't understand why and I wish I did. I'd like to be able to harness that addictive energy that will keep me playing a computer game until 1 in the morning the night before work. If I could channel that productively, I'd stop beating myself up about all the schemes in my head. Addiction even affects my relationship with people I love, like H. I find myself thinking that I want to get back to playing so that I can solve the problem that I'm faced with. But really, I want to talk to H, but I can't because of some distraction caused by my addiction. Maybe it's a weak form of schizophrenia - I certainly feel like a different individual when addicted to something.


I'm not sure if I can pin down what else I've been up to over the last month. Valentines Day down in Bristol was fantastic. I love being with H - she is gorgeous. H cooked for me - it was magic. We had champagne and wine and got drunk. I like it. The weekend was too short though.

Before that? I can't quite remember - I think that was J's visit. That would just about fit with the period of gaming addiction. The weekend before that was Al's birthday. And then my last blog. Work in the intervening period has been hectic. I'm happy to work hard though as it stops me spending money on drinking. Plus, I feel like I'm achieving something at the moment. I still have a lot to achieve. I've relaxed a little in the last couple of weeks - which is more to do with me knowing that I need to avoid burnout. This weekend I am away with H and that should help me to relax further. It depends on whether I can avoid being frustrated by my knee. I was really looking forward to getting out and about and exploring the lakes. Now I think that I may have to see rather more through a car window than I'd thought. But, time with H will be the good thing.


Time, I think, to wrap H's presents. Will I go for another ice-pack? I'll see how I feel.

Laters
BB